I have been (gently) pushing myself to do things, lately. Things that are positive for my life at this time and healthy for my soul and mental state. Things that I don’t feel like doing but know I need to do. It isn’t easy. Especially when some days the grief, sadness and general state of tiredness, makes it nearly impossible to get out of bed in the morning. Somehow, I do it. I gather up my mustard seed of courage (and faith) and push forward.
Last week, I officially started my online therapy with a licensed professional from Talkspace. From the jump I noticed the program isn’t set up how I originally thought, but I am going to give it a real fighting chance before I judge it too quickly. I plan on doing a review of this service in case anyone who comes across my blog wants an honest take of it. There are so many ads and endorsed promotions of online therapy now; you don’t know who to trust!
Even before signing up for therapy, I had been trying to get myself into some better habits. Getting back to the joyous and optimistic spirited person I am used to being is very important to me. Here is my current list of activities I’ve been making time for to better myself.
An entry from the book, 101 Prayers For My Daughter
Morning Prayer
When you are going through a state of depression and sadness, sometimes you can feel so low you don’t know how to pray or what to pray for. I take the pressure off myself and just decided to talk to God. Every instance doesn’t have to be a drawn out ritual. I came across this book, purely by coincidence, 101 Prayers for My Daughter. With each entry I read I can hear my Mom’s voice offering up these prayers for me. I feel closure a little bit more every day. This has been a great step in the right direction in jump starting my day.
My latest gouache painting in my sketchbook. I hope to fill up this book by year’s end!
Creating Art
It's nice to be excited about my artwork again! I’ve been attempting to sketch and paint daily, if not 3-4 times a week. It not only gives me more frequent content to post on my art social media, but practice with my latest art medium of gouache paint. So far, I have really enjoyed my time painting. All the sketches I’ve done so far, I really like. I also created a Ko-Fi account! I’m excited to launch it and better promote my art.
Socializing
I am a home-body through and through, but seclusion and alone time right now is NOT what I need (even if it’s what I want). I’ve been pushing myself to say “Yes” to invitations out with friends, lately. Even though I may be apprehensive to go, I always return home happy and so glad that I went.
That’s about it for my May’s Life Update. I can hardly believe its been a whole month (or just about) since my last post. I just want anyone out there reading this to know..it can (and will) get better. The change can start with you.