Mr. Right and I recently reached our one month mark for marriage. The time passed so quickly! Since then, I’ve had girl friends ask me different variations of the question “Does your relationship feel different now that you’re married?” Initially, I said No! Why would it? We’ve been together for 10 years and have been living together for almost half of that time. However, after a month has passed I can honestly say that..Yes, surprisingly some things have changed. So in this post I’ll be sharing them with you.
#1 Finances Can Make or Break Your Marriage
If you’ve been living with your significant other (S.O.) for any period of time, its not uncommon to share life expenses. For a time, Mr. Right earned considerably more money than I did in his field of work. He is very good with budgeting, managing money and making wise investment decisions in his future. I, on the other hand, will admit that I’ve let poor spending habits get the best of me. This, paired with past medical bills and student loan debt, doesn’t put me in the best light. There has been a few times in our relationship that my own selfishness could have ended the relationship.
Once you’re married, your finances aren’t just yours any more. You have to think of the we and make better decisions that will financially secure both you and your spouse. I’ve recently secured a new and better paying job opportunity; in doing so now I am the one bringing in the larger income of us two. Mr. Right has not-so-gently suggested a new savings plan and money managing strategy that will help both of us enjoy life more in the long run as well as reach some short term goals we have for our life together.
Talking over money with your S.O. shouldn’t be scary, embarrassing or an attack. It’s only to better help the relationship and the life you’re building with one another. So, I highly recommend doing it, and doing it often!
#2 Your Health Doesn’t Just Effect You
I have attempted a healthier lifestyle on-and-off since 2019. I’ve had great results when I am able to have better self discipline. However, now that I am married I feel this is even more important than before. Yes, I want to be healthier for myself and to alleviate any pending illnesses. I even have the desire to plan for a baby in the future and this is a reason to reign in my health. However, my biggest motivation for a permanent healthy lifestyle change is Mr. Right. I can’t imaging what life would be like for him if I fell drastically sick and it was my fault, or worse, died before our lives could really get started together.
The rest of this year I have decided to be more conscious of my health habits: mentally and physically. So, I can be the best wife I can be…’cause he deserves it! It will be a challenge, especially with the constant eb and flow of my PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), but I have to keep trying.
#3 Intimacy & Romance Is Important
With the chaos of managing a career, freelance work, side-projects and hobbies it can be exhausting and intimacy in your relationship can often times take a back seat. Once you’re married though, its even more important to keep the fire burning and make personal time for one another. This has been a struggle for me in the past and I knew it had to change (not just for my husband’s sake, but mine too!)
Not all the time this is the easiest thing to do for a woman. Men and women are very different sexually. Sometimes, it can take more effort for a woman to get in the mood than a man. I’ve found, for myself, that boosting my self confidence and sex-appeal helps a lot when it comes to the bedroom boom. Sprucing up this intimate time with sexy lingerie has been a real help. You can find some really affordable options on Amazon! I’ve found items in sizes up to 5X! (And yes…it does fit! Just read the reviews carefully)
#4 Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
The sooner you realize that gendered roles are null and void, the happier your marriage will be. I don’t expect my husband to always take out the trash, take initiative for maintenance on our vehicles or other such tasks historically thought to be a “man’s job”. I am totally capable of doing those things myself! Likewise, my husband sweeps the floors, cleans the bathroom and washes the dishes, too. This home is ours to share and so are all of the responsibilities.
What I have learned though, is that you can’t expect your spouse to just know things. Be vocal and voice your needs. If you speak up and are specific with what you want/need in the relationship, there can never be any assumptions, confusions, or miscommunications. Honesty and open communication will always be an equation for a happy marriage!